


Hand-holding

by nakadoo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 09:03:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakadoo/pseuds/nakadoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He asks you to hold his hand. You don't know why but you comply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hand-holding

His name is Eridan Ampora and he is probably the most annoying person on earth.

He thinks he’s high and mighty, always has his nose up in the air like he’s some sort of prince or royalty. It makes you sick to the bone sometimes, and you wonder how Feferi tolerates him.

He’s a loner (you are too, but at least you have a couple of friends), and you see him hanging around the library a lot, with his nose buried in between the pages of a book, the whole world around him seemingly not there. He gets pissy when he’s disturbed, and has a tongue so sharp it could cut through stonewalls. You’d really not rather get into an argument with him, though you are one of the only people that he can never beat in a verbal argument.

Sometimes you see him at parties, sipping daintily at his cup of beer like it’s liquid gold. You hate him sometimes, irrational hate, and now is one of those times. You down your cup and head outside to watch the stars or something poetic like that, except there are two drunk couples making out on the yard and that’s just nasty.

You leave the party with a piss poor mood, just because you saw him. Fuck that guy.

Though as it would seem, fate seems to like to piss you off because unfortunately he end’s up being your lab partner for chemistry. You and he argue so much that you end up breaking a beaker and a graduated cylinder in the process. The professor berates the two of you for five minutes and you give him the finger and sneers at you before you part ways.

He is at Karkat’s party and it didn’t make much sense to you. It was supposed to be just Karkat and a group of his close friends so why the fuck is Ampora there?

Much to your disbelief, Karkat says that he and Eridan are pretty tight, and you cannot bring yourself to comprehend the situation but you say nothing more regarding the situation, because Karkat is your friend and the more you bad mouth Eridan, the more pissed off he looks.

You make it a point to actively avoid him from then on.

Except you can’t because you’re dumb and you forgot he’s your lab partner.

You don’t know how you manage it, but you survive the first semester even though you have an ass as a partner.

Though you can’t deny that you’ve had your moments. He can be… tolerable at times.

Sometimes you notice him more than you usually do, when he’s alone reading a book or listening to music. Though Feferi says the two of them are best friends, you’ve never actually seen them together or talking together.

It was during Karkat’s stupid Christmas party that you find your self awake while everyone else is passed out or too drunk to move. You move through the room of people, carefully stepping over Gamzee who's looking up at the ceiling like a miracle is about to happen, and you side-step Terezi who waltzes in like her knees are made of a game of jenga.

You think you’re alone in the sea of sober and awake but you’re not because when you walk out to the front steps of Karkat’s home, you find Eridan fucking Ampora with his scarf wrapped around his neck and the tips of his ears and nose tinted pink because of the cold. He’s sitting on the first step and watching the snow fall, like a child lost in wonder in the world of imagination.

You sit beside him, curious, and he doesn’t pay you any heed right away.

He looks at you, actually looks at you like you’re not a “stupid plebian,” or a “stupid computer nerd.” He looks at you like you’re Sollux Captor, bipolarity and all and you stare back and him and wonder what he wants.

“It’s cold,” he says like it’s not the most obvious thing in the world.

“No shit,” you reply bluntly, though there is no edge to your tone.

Silence passes.

You’re about to stand up and go back in, your ass is freezing off but he calls you before you can. You look at him and raise your eyebrows.

“Can you hold my hand?” 

And you stare, confused. Hold his Hand? What for?

“Why?” you ask, staring at his hands that are folded on his lap. “If you’re cold, go inside.”

“No, not that,” he says, almost flustered. “I just.. Really need it right now.”

You stare, and reluctantly offer your hand.

He takes it, and he’s really cold, ice cold. You hold it tight, trying to let the warmth of your own hand seep into his. “You idiot, how long have you been sitting here?”

He shrugs, but he doesn’t let go of your hand.

“Is there any particular reason?” you ask, still holding his hand because you’re scared that if you let go, he’ll die of frostbite or something.

He’s hesitant, you can see that, and as he lets out a breath of air it fogs up his glasses and it looks kind of funny but you don’t say anything. “I’m… scared.”

“Scared?” you repeat, like that’s the most absurd thing to say. “What of?”

“The future? Right now? Everything, I suppose,” he tells you and his hand on yours gets tighter. “I don’t know what to do with my life, and it scares me when I see other people being happy, when I feel so lost.”

You don’t know what to say. You thought he was happy because he was rich and could buy what he could whenever he wanted. He didn’t have to think about student loans like you did. “Why are you lost?”

“I thought I wanted this,” he says. “I thought that I wanted to be a lawyer like my pop but now that I’m actually here and trying… I just don’t feel it. Everyday feels like a waste, I feel like I could be doing more except I’m too scared to stray away from the path that my pop made.”

You don’t know what to say. You’re pretty sure that a lot of college kids go through this, though you never really thought that he’d be one of them. You hold his hand tighter and pull him up and drag him inside. He doesn’t complain and when the warmth hits you both, you sigh and close your eyes.

He is still holding your hand, and it doesn’t look like he’s going to let go any time soon. In fact, it kind of looks like he’s a child, a small kid who’s lost and looking for his parents.

You drag him up to the guest room and you wriggle your hand away from his. He’s reluctant about it, but he lets go. You turn on the heater and let it warm the room. “We should sleep,” you tell him.

“But there’s only one bed,” he says in a little voice.

“We can share, it’s cold anyways,” you reply and start taking off some of your layers. You crawl under the thick sheets and wait for him, and eventually he takes off his layers too and lies down with you.

The room is dark, and you can see the little glow in the dark stars that Karkat put up there just because he could and try to make out the constellations that he attempted to draw. Eridan is silently looking up, probably still thinking too hard about what the future holds so you wrap an arm around him and pull him close. It snaps him out of his daze, and he wraps around you as well, holding onto you like a lifeline at sea.

“You’re something, Ampora,” you mutter, stroking his hair back and sighing.

He sighs as well, and presses his face against your chest. His cheeks are still cold, and so is his nose, but at least he’s warming up.

“Sometimes I just don't want to have to deal with expectations anymore,” he sighs against you. “I just wanna quit school an’ I unno, start a band or somethin’ or write a book.”

“Then do that,” you tell him. “What’s the point of doing anything if you’re not happy?”

He doesn’t answer you, but you think you’ve made your point.

As you start to drift away into the land of sleep, you feel his arms wrap tighter around you. You hear him say thank you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your name is Sollux Captor and its three years later, and your boyfriend has had his first book published. You’ve never seen him happier.

**Author's Note:**

> I am actually feeling really shitty about college right now, and I wish I could just quit and see the world instead.
> 
> Ho ho ho merry jongles and happy christmas. 22 more days to go.


End file.
